As I chatted online with Ron’s sister in law–I realized that I may be a better parent than she is. No I am not insulting–okay maybe just a little–but I am totally amazed as how she is a parent.
She’s the mother of 3–a 10 year, 5 year, and 3 year old. She saved $7500+ for a tummy tuck! So as her kids are in raggedy clothes and her house in a dissarray–she goes and gets a tummy tuck? I didn’t quite understand her thought process. Don’t get me wrong, every mother should treat herself to something nice…only AFTER the kids, spouse, and the house are taken care of. Now she walks around, hunched over, complaining about the pain she’s in. Of course that’s all she talks about. The funniest part about this…she claims she doesn’t need to lose weight–as she stuffs her face of pizza! She doesn’t work out, doesn’t clean, or really do much. Ron told me that she came into the house with 2 pizzas, put them on the table, made a plate for herself, and stayed on the computer. This went on, while her kids were there to fetch their own food, while Ron and her husband put down flooring. There were piles of unfolded clothes and dishes. I have a feeling–that she will gain the weight back and she’ll look way worse than before. And I won’t be sympathetic. I’ll be giggling…(is that bad?)
I chatted with her online. She told me that Ron was making fun of her and her parenting skills as she provided a ‘binky’ to her 3 year old son. Of course me not being a parent, asked what a binky was. A ‘binky’ is a pacifier. I told her that a pacifier is for 1 year olds and younger and her explanation is that when he’s good, he gets to keep it. HUH? WHAT? I didn’t understand her logic in that. She seems to be consumed with one person and one person only: HERSELF. Just the minor stuff–like stuffing her fat face first…
And the even funnier part she told me..I was chatting with her daughter online as well and she called her daughter a lazy spoiled child because her daughter did not want to help do stuff in the house. HELLO–lead by example!
Of course I say all this knowing that I am not a parent and things will obviously change when I become one (hopefully before I reach the ripe old age of 40). But I know that my childrend and (hopefully) spouse comes first. Because as they watch my example, they will learn how to be a parent and partner. Don’t get me wrong–I’ll treat myself to a spa day away from everyone every now and then…but after the kids and spouse are fed and cleaned.
Family first–that’s the way I was raised. My parents always made sure my sister and I were eating first before they even made their own plates. We may not have the expensive or trendiest of clothes, but they were clean and not raggedy! Their house is always clean (clutter was hidden–but the rest of the house was cleaned and sink empty of dirty dishes). They managed to keep a house, raise two daughters, push them to get through graduate school, and save for once in a lifetime trips around the world.
I admire my Mom in many ways–even though at times she can be ‘cold’–I’ll get to that in a little bit. She runs the house. She makes more money than my Dad, does chores inside the house and her gardening and keeps the finances in check. She cooks and runs a pretty tight ship. My Dad on the other hand does the rest of the outside housework, the manual labor, groceries, and believe it or not taught my Mom how to cook. I see a lot of them in me. My Mom stresses over everything but my Dad is very extroverted. My Mom prefers inside chores, she’s the gift giver, the thoughtful one (Gift Giving is her love language). She has a tough outer shell and rarely allows people to see her emotion–I obviously did not get that trait. My Dad is very lovey dovey. He tells me and my sister all the time that he loves us. He’s very patient (I did NOT inherit that gene) with the 3 women in the house. He likes sports (football mostly and then beach volleyball..then there’s bowling and pool), power tools, and really thinks he wanted a boy :D But he does anything for us first.
I feel I was raised right…so if I teach my children to be strong willed, push them to finish school (at least through undergrad), to be somewhat organized, to put God and family first, and show love, respect, and affection to their family members, that everything needs to be worked for, not handed to…I think I will be a great parent…at least better than a few I know.